


Time Waits For No Man

by startrekkingaroundasgard



Series: Bucky Barnes Bingo [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Feelings, M/M, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 20:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21042305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekkingaroundasgard/pseuds/startrekkingaroundasgard
Summary: After the battle, Steve’s mission is to return all the infinity stones to their right places in the timeline. Before he leaves, he and Bucky sit down to talk about his future/the past and the possibility of returning to make a life with Peggy. When the time comes, Steve finally lets go of Peggy and comes back to make a new life with Bucky.





	Time Waits For No Man

“You aren’t coming back, are you?”

The unforgiving silence answered for him. Steve bowed his head, blue eyes fixed on the ground. The scruff on his boots was more captivating than it had ever been before, every speck of dirt a distraction from the difficult conversation at hand. 

This wasn’t the first time they’d discussed Steve going back. It was, however, the first time that it was more than a distant possibility. The whole time travel, alternate realities thing was too complex for Bucky to wrap his mind around but they - Stark - had cracked it. Now, it was actually possible for Steve to take that trip, that one way trip. 

Peggy was a special woman, that much had been clear from the beginning. She possessed a strength that Bucky had always admired, a softness that the harsh realities of the world had never been able to taint. She’d connected with Steve, long before he became the American wet dream he was now, and had held a place in his heart ever since. They had loved each other deeply but that didn’t mean Bucky thought it was a good idea to go back and find her. 

Breaking the silence, Steve answered honestly. There was no point in lying, not to his best friend. They’d been through too much to even try. “I can’t say I’m not tempted.”

“But?”

“Peggy had a life. A beautiful life, after I was gone. She had a family and did so many meaningful things. Sure, part of me wants to jump back and be selfish for once. To go where we left off and have that with her myself. I can’t, though. I can’t do that to her. She deserves better than that. And how could I live a life with her knowing everything I do, about SHIELD and HYDRA and you?" 

Bucky’s insides twisted under Steve’s intense stare. There was so much going unsaid. Words which could never have been spoken seventy years ago but were too important to risk giving life to now. Emotions which had never faded, as strong today as they had ever been, but it wasn’t the right time to dredge them up. Bucky often wondered if the right time would ever come. 

Desperately ignoring the drop of his stomach, the ache in his chest, as he pushed down the feelings for the hundredth time, Bucky said, "You couldn’t interfere, Steve. Even if you wanted to, those are the rules, aren’t they?”

“You’d expect me to forget that they had you, all that time? Torturing you, forcing you to do their dirty work? So what if I saved you from that? What do the rules matter? We screwed the universe over once already this week. So what if I did it again? Who would stop me?” Steve grew louder with each question until he was all but shouting. His eyes fluttered closed and he forced himself to take a breath. He glanced over to Bucky, expression soft and apologetic despite having done nothing wrong. 

After all, how could Bucky be upset? Steve was angry on his behalf, sharing all the pain he’d shouldered for seven decades. Bucky reached across and squeezed Steve’s shoulder. A familiar action, short but comforting. Today, though, his fingers lingered. If this was it, the last time he’d see his friend, Bucky was going to commit this to memory. 

The slight scruff covering Steve’s jaw, unshaved after the past few days had left him - left everyone - so drained he could barely get out of bed in the morning, let alone bother to shave. It was like it had finally become too much and he’d just given up, a feeling Bucky understood well. 

Sunlight highlighted the sharp angles of his face, the bright glow a sharp contrast to the bags under his eyes. Steve had the body of a young man, but his eyes showed his true age. They’d witnessed more loss than any one man should ever have to bear. 

Steve smiled, a soft sadness that spoke volumes. He leant into Bucky’s touch, closing the chasm between them ever so slightly. It was only a few millimetres but the distance no longer felt like miles. 

“You always have been reckless,” Bucky said fondly. “But maybe, just this once, don’t try to take on the bigger guy. I guarantee that you will not win against the universe. Who knows what will happen if you start fighting history.”

“I can still try.”

“You could. But you won’t. We beat them once, Steve. We will again." 

Steve picked at a non existent thread on his jeans, bowing his head in agreement. It had been many years since Bucky had seen Steve act so small. He was rarely lost for words, often had far too much to say about everything, really, but now he seemed unable to do more than mumble in agreement. 

They sat quietly, both considering the future - or the past - when Bucky noticed it again. A small movement in the corner of his eye. That was the fifth time that Steve had brushed his fingers across the bag by his feet. Bucky watched his friend nudge it with his foot before tugging back into its original place up against his thigh. 

The unspoken question hung heavily between them. Suffocating. Bucky knew what Steve was going to ask. He’d known from the moment he sat down what Steve was going to offer him, but was even more certain now he knew Steve was genuinely considering going back. His heart was at peace with the knowledge that he already knew how he would answer. 

Steve drew breath, preparing himself to ask the impossible of his friend, but Bucky cut him off before the first word could pass his lips. "I don’t want it.”

“Buck…”

“No, Steve." 

"If this is because of what you did when you were The Soldier… That wasn’t you.”

It was true; those reasons did play a part in Bucky’s decisions. Captain America was an icon, a pillar of freedom and truth. Bucky couldn’t be the face of those things. However unwillingly, he had worked for the Nazis and the KGB. As ever, the public didn’t know the true story but they still saw him as an enemy (perhaps reformed, perhaps not, depending on which tabloid you read) and would never accept him as their new Captain. 

There was more to it than that, though.

Just as Steve wanted to step away, to embrace the dream of living a quiet life where the villain of the week came in the terrifying form of the neighbours dog trying to take a crap on his lawn, Bucky also wanted a little peace. Not forever - one way or another, he knew he would inevitably find his way back into the ‘good fight’ - but he wanted the option. If he were to take up the mantle of Captain America than he would die beneath it and never get that choice. 

“Give it to Wilson.”

Steve glanced up at Bucky, surprise etched into his features. It was almost enough to make Bucky laugh. 

"We both know that he’s the one who deserves it. He knows what he stands for and is as big a pain in the ass as you are, so that’ll help. He’ll fight for what’s right and won’t take no for an answer. You should give the shield, the title, to him. Sam will make a great Captain.“ Bucky let out a heavy breath. It was both a weight lifted off his chest but also a kick in the gut as the truth of his collected outburst hit. Dragging his hands down over his face, he groaned, "God, don’t let him know that I told you that. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“You’re a good friend, Buck.”

“Yeah, I know." 

A clattering outside, Bruce and Sam loading the van with equipment, reminded both men how little time was left. He’d spent years muddling through his feelings, practising how he might one day put them into words, but now Bucky’s mind was blank. 

"We should go help,” Bucky muttered. “Time waits for no man.”

Steve caught his wrist and pulled him back. “Bucky, I…”

He shook his head, barely noticeable but enough to silence his friend. He didn’t need to hear the words, he realised. He already knew anyway. “Me too, Stevie. Always have. Always will.”

“I’ll come back, Buck,” Steve said, pulling Bucky into a tight hug. He buried his face against Bucky’s neck and clung on, almost for dear life. It only lasted a few seconds but, with his Captain’s arms around him, Bucky felt more at home than he ever had. “I’ll come back for you.”

“I’ll be alright, pal.” Steeling his expression, Bucky pulled back and gave the most genuine smile he could muster. Judging by how Steve’s face fell, it couldn’t have been all that convincing. 

“ 'Til the end of the line, Buck. That’s what we said. I meant it.”

It was a foolish promise. One he could never be expected to keep. 

When Bucky watched Steve step on to that platform by the lake, he held on to those six words like a prayer and counted down the seconds to nothing. Exactly as he’d predicted, there was no sign of a return journey. He’d lost Steve forever. 

But then, just as he was ready to give up, the air began to shimmer and crack. A tear in time burst open and Steve stepped out, sans hammer and infinity stones. His hair and beard had grown out again but he looked refreshed. Happy. 

“Everything go as planned?” Banner asked.

“Without a hitch,” Steve answered, stepping off the platform to shake his large green hand. He clapped Sam on the back and filled them in on a few extra details before stepping away towards Bucky. Neither of the other men dared intrude on what was obviously a private conversation and made themselves busy packing away the equipment. 

Steve and Bucky took a few steps away from the metal platform, towards a bench by the lake’s edge. It was so beautiful here. A paradise. The perfect place for Bucky to let go of Steve, to effectively watch him die. But now he was back, alive and well. Staring out into the distance, Bucky’s mouth was dry, his mind unable to process the mess of emotions he was drowning under. “Peggy?”

“Introduced me to her husband, Daniel. That first dinner was a little… difficult but they let me stay a few weeks before I had to go. Realised I’d been gone long enough.” Steve studied Bucky’s expression, his smile falling ever so slightly. “You really thought I wasn’t going to come back, didn’t you?”

“It had crossed my mind.”

“I promised you, Buck. I spent so much time telling people to let go and move on. Talking with Peg finally gave me the closure to do that. I’ll always love her but she’s gone now and living in the past would have been a disservice to her memory. But you and I… We’re alive and she’d want us - I want us - to have the life we deserve. Together. Lord knows we deserve a break.”

“So now what?”

Steve shrugged. He clearly hadn’t thought that far ahead, which was just like him. Jump in head first and just ride out the waves as they came. “We take it one day at a time, I guess. If you want to, obviously.”

There was no question about it. There was nothing Bucky wanted more. “End of the line, Stevie. You and me. Always”


End file.
